First, let's start with Gabriel; He's nine years old, born in May of 2012. He's my firstborn who's been through my side from the start. I won't lie to you, I started my road to motherhood a little earlier than "normal". He's always been a bright, smart, and outgoing boy. He has his moments when he can be shy and he can wear his heart on his sleeve. He also loves to be the comedian at all family events. He's always had a big imagination and he surprises me more each day with the things he still teaches me. Right now, he categorizes himself as a gamer, anime lover, and soccer player. He could live off of pizza and cheeseburgers if I would let him honestly. This kid has so much to him that you really can't summarize who he is because he's a lot of things. One of the best things about him though, he's a great big brother. We've raised him to always remember that he is the "protector" when it comes to his siblings and one of us adults isn't there. Gabriel has lived up to it too.
Julius Isadore Ashes is one of the many amazing grandfathers I've had in my life. Some of my best memories of him are after I started driving and had a car of my own. We'd go around running errands together, I'd help him get groceries, and eventually, we'd get a bite to eat. Sonic or Fryin' Pan was his go-to all the time. I remember one time distinctly; My sister and I had just finished decorating his Christmas tree and hanging lights, after who knows how many trips we made back and forth that night to the store to get it completely done. It was a little after midnight when we got done and I honestly thought he would be ready for bed but he was ready to go out to eat. Lucky for us, Fryin' Pan is open 24 hours. When he passed away in August of 2017, I could feel my world shift differently. I realized one day I'll be here alone and all the adults that I love and grew up with would be gone. So to keep a part of him, I named my daughter after him. Nytalia Isadora Ashes was born in September of 2017. She was a shocker to all my family and friends after my grandpa's funeral but I proudly gave her his middle name with a twist.
You're probably thinking that was such a long introduction to Nytalia. You'll learn as post more often that I can be extra. So back to my baby girl! Nytalia was my big surprise baby but the amount of support I had from my family, friends and the previous job I had at that time was so overwhelming. Also when I say big surprise, I honestly mean big because she is the biggest baby I've had out of her brothers too. She was born 9lbs 2oz and was loved by all immediately. She was always a happy baby and grew up with a loud personality. Nytalia has such a big attitude and always showed it. She grew up loving music, dancing, and being the little princess who ruled us. When she got old enough to start figuring out what she liked and didn't like, you were educated all the time. She kept us on our toes but also always surprised us with how fast she was at learning things and with how much she already knew. So when it came to school, the worries I thought I had didn't exist. She was so grown about it and more ready than I was about sending her.
Before the pandemic hit and put an end to most Pow Wows that year, I already had plans to have a jingle dress made her. I had found someone who made beautiful dresses in Canada. So I ordered her one and it was so beautiful on her. She loved the colors, how sparkly it was was and how the dress fit her personality. We waited for the opportunity for her to finally wear it and dance but unfortunately, she outgrew the dress before we could even attend another Pow Wow. We planned to find a dress ready at one of the stands at the Mankato Pow Wow and were so excited. Not just to dance but to also camp, have bonfires and be with all our family. We set up camp and had one of her favorite dinners. A bucket of chicken with mac n' cheese and her ultimate favorite, coleslaw. My aunt rolled in later that evening and set up her tent as well. Nytalia was ready to get the full experience of what camping was like. I wish she could have too. To only have her in our lives for 4 years is not enough. I probably sound selfish but I always will be when it comes to losing my only daughter.
Last but not least, Nysenio Rey Artimus Ashes. Mouthful, I know. His name is longer because I swore him to be my last child. He carries my mother's and one of my other grandpa's middle names. He too was my surprise baby born close to Halloween in 2019. He's two years old now and has lots to learn. He's been the baby out of the 3 based on his little personality. Gabriel and Nytalia are social butterflies, who do what they want. Nysenio is shy about most people and often sticks close to myself, my mother, or great-grandma. He calls them both "ga-ga" which has been his term for grandma all this time. When you can finally get him out of his shell, you'll learn his brother and sister have had a hand in building him. He's feisty like his sister and can be goofy like his brother. He loves to dance and sing. He's got an old soul like his sister. He could listen to "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac over and over after he turned one. His little head would bob and he would flick his fingers as if he was snapping them to the beat. Plus one thing he for sure got from his sister, was his love for boots. Not just any boots either, specifically cowboy boots because she use to say she was going to be a cowgirl one day! He's gained so much from her and he's always looked up to her. I can tell by the way he looked for her after school, waited to have breakfast with her, and always listened to her. I'll always remind him about how much she loves him and how no matter where she is, she will always be with him.
I live and breathe for my kids. I pray every day that I'm a better mom than the day before.
- Nyssa